Addiction & Childhood Trauma: What Are You Numbing?

Addiction is not just about the substance or behavior.
More often, it’s about pain: an old pain. Unspoken pain. Unconscious. 
The kind that lives quietly inside the body until something or anything offers relief.

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t stop scrolling, drinking, overworking, overeating, or losing yourself in toxic relationships...
You’re not broken.

These are all forms of numbing, coping mechanisms that develop when we don’t know how else to soothe what hurts.

Numbing Is a Survival Strategy

If you grew up in a family where emotional safety wasn’t present maybe with a narcissistic parent, emotionally immature caregivers, or chronic unpredictability, you likely didn’t learn how to feel and process your emotions.

Instead, you may have learned to disconnect from them.
You may have learned to keep yourself small, quiet, invisible or to find something external to help you feel okay for a moment.

Because no one was there to guide you through fear, grief, loneliness, or shame.

So you figured it out the only way your system knew how:
You found ways to escape it.
That could mean alcohol. Or compulsive productivity. Or caretaking others. Smoking. Weed. Or zoning out in a dopamine loop of food or screens and even relationships. Love addiction. 

The Child Within Is Still Lonely

At the heart of addiction is often the wounded inner child, the younger part of you who still feels lonely, still longs to be seen, and still wonders if their needs matter.

Addiction is not a failure.
It’s not about weakness or lack of willpower.
It’s about a wound that never got what it needed to heal. A nervous system that never learned safety. A heart that was never allowed to be joyful. 

When you reach for something external to soothe your pain, you’re not being “bad.”
You’re doing what you were taught to do: look outside of yourself to fix what was broken inside.

What You Might be Seeking Is Connection

Every numbing behavior is trying to answer one question:
How can I feel less alone in this moment? What can I do to stop this pain?

This can be an unconscious process that you are not even aware of it.

But what if the connection you’re seeking isn’t “out there”?
What if it’s inside you in the parts of yourself that are still waiting to be met with compassion instead of shame?

Healing begins when we stop punishing ourselves for our coping mechanisms and instead ask,
“What is this part of me trying to protect?”

That’s where the work begins.

Ready to talk to someone who understands?

If you’re navigating the impact of childhood trauma, toxic family patterns, or just feeling overwhelmed by emotions you can’t name: I’m here.

I offer a free 30-minute consultation call where we can talk about what you’re going through, what kind of support you’re looking for, and whether working together feels like a good fit.

You don’t have to figure it all out alone.